Build a Computer:
Why you don’t know how to do this: It’s a computer. A dozen parts coming together to create the ability to go online. You probably ask yourself, what’s RAM? And how come my Hard Drive makes a scratching noise sometimes? The simple answer to why you don’t know how to build a computer; it’s complicated. Finding parts isn’t hard, finding the right parts is. Putting it together isn’t hard, putting it together right the first time is. With the ability to buy a complete computer at Best Buy so easy, why build your own. Simply, you want a computer that can be upgraded every couple of months and be usable. Instead you buy a completely new computer every couple of years and only to find out you’re angry at how slow it is 6 months later.
Solution: Build a computer. Take a couple of weeks and buy a book on building computers. Study it, breathe it, live it. Once you’ve built it you’ll technically smarter then 95% of your friends, family and their friends and their family. You’ll be the one they call when their computer crashes. By this time, you’ll know that most likely their hard drive crashed and they lost their data. The good news is you convinced them to back their data up, now you’re the hero.
Change a Flat Tire:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Ever seen a slasher movie where the college students get stuck on the side of the road because their car has flat, and the buff, model looking male lead has no idea what a lug nut is? You know you have. The only thing preventing you from being in this scenario, besides not looking like a model, is a big screen. If you haven’t been stranded on the side of a desolate highway, or even a mildly traveled one, consider yourself lucky, but the law of averages isn’t on your side. Everyday you don’t check the pressure on your tires, (do you know how to do that?) takes you one mile closer to staring in your own personal horror film. Besides, who wants to be on a date and not know how to change a tire. Girls want a man who can do more then call AAA.
Solution: Find some flat ground, get the jack your car conveniently has in the trunk, next to your spare. If you didn’t know your car comes with a jack, read you manual. Proceed to loosen the lug nuts on one of your wheels, preferably the one up in the air. Attach the spare, tighten the lug nuts, and take a test drive. Come back and re-attach your normal tire. Reward yourself with a Klondike bar, because you are more of a man now (if you’re a woman, you are now better then your boyfriend).
Shoot a Gun:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Come on, ever since the end of the draft, you haven’t had a reason to learn to shoot a gun. The only reason you learned to shoot then, was to have a head start on the poor sap who didn’t. Because when the Army pencil whipped your basic training you at least knew where the safety was. Nowadays, you don’t know how to shoot because your food magically appears in the meat locker at Costco. You don’t know what it means to live off the land and fend for yourself. The good news is you don’t need to know who to do these things, but you should. The modern reason to know how to shoot a gun is to protect yourself. You really don’t want to be caught in the middle of your house being robbed and have no way to defend yourself and your family. You have life too easy these days, and somewhere robbers, muggers and thieves of all kinds know this, and are plotting against you.
Solution: Do yourself a favor and buy the cheapest life insurance policy available, a shotgun (they’re easy, point, shoot, pump, point shoot, repeat) is simple, reliable, and makes a big hole in whatever you point it at. After this, go to your local shooting range and sign up for the pistol class. You’ll feel a whole new confidence and add tool to your kit. If you’ve caught the bug, find a tactical shooting range and get qualified for a concealed weapon, then you can carry your life insurance anywhere (except for schools, court houses, government buildings, and some parks).
Cut Down a Tree:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Ever since natural gas was discovered, you’ve become accustomed to wood free heat, and ever since the Swedes gave us IKEA, you’ve become accustomed to manufactured DIY furniture. In fact, the closest you’ve probably come to wood is attempting to build a crappy beer pong table. When your great grand parents moved out west, they had to clear their entire property of trees, then they built their first house out of the trees the cut down. Simply, you don’t have a good reason to cut down a tree anymore.
Solution: You don’t have to break out the ax or two person saw, a chainsaw will be fine (please don’t use an electric one wuss). The most important thing to bringing down a tree is falling it where you want. It’s no good having to fix your neighbors fence when you screw up. To do this, cut a notch out of the tree on the side you want to fall, and proceed to attack it from the back. If done correctly, the tree will fall in the direction you made the notch. If the tree is huge (20 ft or bigger) make DIY grappling hook and have someone pull it down in the correct direction. Women love lumberjacks. It’s probably something to do with knowing how to handle wood, but you never know. Just don’t wear plaid.
Keep a Journal:
Why you don’t know how to do this: It takes time, patience, and dedication. Three of the most valuable and least abundant qualities found in your everyday life. Writing and maintaining a journal is a personal and intimate task. It’s something no one else should ever see, and if they did you would be embarrassed. With modern distractions, like this blog, we don’t have the inclination to write down our thoughts. Without journals, the lives of some of the most powerful men and women in the history of the world would still be myth and legend. Anne Frank wouldn’t have a book, and George Washington would still have chopped down a cherry tree. Most importantly, you don’t keep a journal because you haven’t thought about it.
Solution: Start writing. Find a time of the day where you can be alone and share your thoughts with yourself. You’ll find how liberating it is to express what you can’t tell anyone. You’ll also find that you’ll discover solutions to your problems simply by considering them while you’re thinking about them. Keeping a journal also adds a sense of mystique to you; you have so much going on that you need to keep track of it. As the say, be a man, use your hand. To write that is.
5 Things you should know how to do, but don’t
Build a computer:
Why you don’t know how to do this: It’s a computer. A dozen parts coming together to create the ability to go online. You probably ask yourself, what’s RAM? And how come my Hard Drive makes a scratching noise sometimes? The simple answer to why you don’t know how to build a computer; it’s complicated. Finding parts isn’t hard, finding the right parts is. Putting it together isn’t hard, putting it together right the first time is. With the ability to buy a complete computer at Best Buy so easy, why build your own. Simply, you want a computer that can be upgraded every couple of months and be usable. Instead you buy a completely new computer every couple of years and only to find out you’re angry at how slow it is 6 months later.
Solution: Build a computer. Take a couple of weeks and buy a book on building computers. Study it, breathe it, live it. Once you’ve built it you’ll technically smarter then 95% of your friends, family and their friends and their family. You’ll be the one they call when their computer crashes. By this time, you’ll know that most likely their hard drive crashed and they lost their data. The good news is you convinced them to back their data up, now you’re the hero.
Change a flat tire:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Ever seen a slasher movie where the college students get stuck on the side of the road because their car has flat, and the buff, model looking male lead has no idea what a lug nut is? You know you have. The only thing preventing you from being in this scenario, besides not looking like a model, is a big screen. If you haven’t been stranded on the side of a desolate highway, or even a mildly traveled one, consider yourself lucky, but the law of averages isn’t on your side. Everyday you don’t check the pressure on your tires, (do you know how to do that?) takes you one mile closer to staring in your own personal horror movie. Besides, who wants to be on a date and not know how to change a tire. Girls want a man who can do more then call AAA.
Solution: Find some flat ground, get the jack your car conveniently has in the trunk, next to your spare. If you didn’t know your car comes with a jack, read you manual. Proceed to loosen the lug nuts on one of your wheels, preferably the one up in the air. Attach the spare, tighten the lug nuts, and take a test drive. Come back and re-attach your normal tire. Reward yourself with a Klondike bar, because you are more of a man now (if you’re a woman, you now better then your boyfriend).
Shoot a Gun:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Come on, ever since the end of the draft, you haven’t had a reason to learn to shoot a gun. The only reason you learned to shoot then, was to have a head start on the poor sap who didn’t. Because when the Army pencil whipped your basic training you at least knew where the safety was. Nowadays, you don’t know how to shoot because your food magically appears in the meat locker at Costco. You don’t know what it means to live off the land and fend for yourself. The good news is you don’t need to know who to do these things, but you should. The modern reason to know how to shoot a gun is to protect yourself. You really don’t want to be caught in the middle of your house being robbed and have no way to defend yourself and your family. You have life too easy these days, and somewhere robbers, muggers and thieves of all kinds know this, and are plotting against you.
Solution: Do yourself a favor and buy the cheapest life insurance policy available, a shotgun (they’re easy, point, shoot, pump, point shoot, repeat) is simple, reliable, and makes a big hole in whatever you point it at. After this, go to your local shooting range and sign up for the pistol class. You’ll feel a whole new confidence and add tool to your kit. If you’ve caught the bug, find a tactical shooting range and get qualified for a concealed weapon, then you can carry your life insurance anywhere (except for schools, court houses, government buildings, and some parks).
Cut down a tree:
Why you don’t know how to do this: Ever since natural gas was discovered, you’ve become accustomed to wood free heat, and ever since the Swedes gave us IKEA, you’ve become accustomed to manufactured DIY furniture. In fact, the closest you’ve probably come to wood is attempting to build a crappy beer pong table. When your great grand parents moved out west, they had to clear their entire property of trees, then they built their first house out of the trees the cut down. Simply, you don’t have a good reason to cut down a tree anymore.
Solution: You don’t have to break out the ax or two person saw, a chainsaw will be fine (please don’t use an electric one wuss). The most important thing to bringing down a tree is falling it where you want. It’s no good having to fix your neighbors fence when you screw up. To do this, cut a notch out of the tree on the side you want to fall, and proceed to attack it from the back. If done correctly, the tree will fall in the direction you made the notch. If the tree is huge (20 ft or bigger) make DIY grappling hook and have someone pull it down in the correct direction. Women love lumberjacks. It’s probably something to do with knowing how to handle wood, but you never know. Just don’t wear plaid.
Keep a journal:
Why you don’t know how to do this: It takes time, patience, and dedication. Three of the most valuable and least abundant qualities found in your everyday life. Writing and maintaining a journal is a personal and intimate task. It’s something no one else should ever see, and if they did you would be embarrassed. With modern distractions, like this blog, we don’t have the inclination to write down our thoughts. Without journals, the lives of some of the most powerful men and women in the history of the world would still be myth and legend. Anne Frank wouldn’t have a book, and George Washington would still have chopped down a cherry tree. Most importantly, you don’t keep a journal because you haven’t thought about it.
Solution: Start writing. Find a time of the day where you can be alone and share your thoughts with yourself. You’ll find how liberating it is to express what you can’t tell anyone. You’ll also find that you’ll discover solutions to your problems simply by considering them while you’re thinking about them. Keeping a journal also adds a sense of mystique to you; you have so much going on that you need to keep track of it. As the say, be a man, use your hand. To write that is.
